Only yesterday and I was commenting to the lovely Lido Peter how the clear, blue waters of Lake Brockwell have returned, just in time for the season close at the end of September. Sunday morning however had the familiar “chemical imbalance” given as the reason for the lack of aquatic action.

Bugger.

To be fair to Fusion, all members have been offered a 10% discount on the joining fee for the 2011 season. Cynics might say that this serves only as an incentive to sign up yet again. What’s the point if you’re buggering off @BrockwellLido continues to suffer the same fate next summer?

Having dragged my backside down to Brockwell Park early on Sunday morning, the inconvenience for me was more of a personal and emotional disappointment.

The tally chart counting down my final days of outdoor swimming in SE24 is almost in single digits. A closed pool is about as welcome as a LambethLabour pledge of “free swimming for every resident” right now.

Ah yes – about that pre-election promise of “free swimming for every resident…”

In the absence of any @BrockwellLido action, I returned down Railton Road and found myself staring into the abyss of Brixton Rec.

Blimey.

The queue at reception finally cleared after five minutes – this was 9am on a Sunday morning, after all. Ahead of me to be served was a young mother with three small kids. She asked for an adult swimming ticket, and three passes for the free swimming for her children.

“Sorry,” said the GLL receptionist. “Free swimming is no longer available.” A price was quoted, which didn’t leave much change out of a £20 note. Not surprisingly the young mother had to explain to her three small kids that swimming wasn’t going to happen today.

I paid my £3.50, and then walked past the petition on the wall set up by the Brixton Rec Users Group. It calls for @LambethLabour to reconsider its decision to slash free swimming for under 16′s and over 60′s. The election pledge of “free swimming for every resident” has long since been sacrificed.

I’m told that just over 2,000 signatures have so far been collected by local leisure users – quite an achievement. One thousand more are still required for the Rec Users Group to force the next Full Council meeting to actually take the petition seriously and debate the matter.

That Lambeth Life Power to the People twaddle of a headline is looking more false as the @LambethLabour cuts start to kick in.

With the disappointment of Brockwell behind me, and now ready to experience the delights of Brixton Rec on a Sunday morning, I showered and slipped into the pool. Five minutes later and I was finished.

It was simply impossible to undertake any form of exercise in a public pool that is rammed bumper to bumper with swimmers early on a Sunday morning. That’s what happens when the “success story” of leisure in Lambeth leads to only one pool that is actually open in the entire borough.

I’ll be back at the waters of Lake Brockwell come Monday morning. If the “chemical imbalance” is still lingering, I’ll have to admit defeat and accept that the buggers have won.

“Free swimming for every resident?”

Only in the Rotten Borough…

I arrived in Brixton back in the summer of 1995, full of hope, high on optimism and with a huge appetite for ambition. None of these have been played out to their full potential, but I feel that I am leaving London as an all round better person.

I’ve been enlightened, enriched and inspired by London. But it comes at a high price, both financially and physically. London demands everything of you. There’s no hiding away if you want to experience the benefits that this city has to offer – you’re either in or you’re out.

I want out.

After fifteen years of running around town, it’s time to come up for some air. We both need a break, and one that allows us to put our feet up, laze around in the garden with a bottle of bolly and just generally live a slower pace of life.

Plus if truth be told, the tipping point came last summer when South London Yoof decided to camp out on my newly varnished front garden fence. It wasn’t particularly anti-social behaviour, but then neither was my response of blasting out some Billy Bragg from my front bedroom to shift South London Yoof along.

I just want a bit of peace, space and respect, bruv. I can’t find that in Sunny Stockwell any more. I live in fear of becoming what I despise – a right wing bigot, albeit with some sense of justification, given the actions of those around me in my current surroundings.

We have lived in the city for fifteen years because we wanted to. We wanted the convenience of being close to the cultural capital of the world; we wanted the opportunities that living in such a densely populated environment presented, and most of all, we wanted to be part of something that was much greater than we as individuals could ever be. London allowed us to live this lifestyle.

But that period in our lives is now in the past. We’re both ready for the next phase, searching for more solitude and a less frantic lifestyle – and yeah, one which probably involves keeping a well stocked wine cellar and not feeling guilty about procrastinating and enjoying life for itself, rather than with a specific reason to achieve or obtain career fulfillment.

I’m failing to find the love that I once had for this great city. Weekends of hunting down specific events or meetings are long gone. The enthusiasm for anything outside of my micro #hyperlocal patch of South London is non-existent. I’m even struggling to see anything of interest for me around here locally. A man who is bored of London is bored of life. I need to therefore try and find a new life out in the wilds.

I’m giving up pretty much everything that has been my social existence for a third of my life: the korfball club, watching cricket, the cycling community at Herne Hill and of course the lovely lido (although if truth be told, it’s not been a great season down in SE24.)

I feel that I’ve run my course with each activity. With no physical or geographical work restrictions keeping me in place, it’s time to move on. I am a nomad of technology: have broadband (just) will travel.

And so where to next? Well, we’re going back to the future to find a familiar lifestyle of old. Almost twenty years ago to the day, @AnnaJCowen and I first met as undergraduates at the University of Essex in Colchester. We’re now heading back to North Essex / Suffolk border, just up the road from the campus to the quayside town of Wivenhoe.

When we lived in North Essex, we couldn’t wait to leave for London. Weekends were spent going back and forth to Liverpool Street. It now seems that we have come full circle, and we can’t get wait to get back to the Wivenhoe rural way of life.

The city has served me well, but I can no longer keep up. I need an environment that hopefully will begin a new period of discovery. Yep – I’m becoming a hippy.

There’s a cycling club, estuary swimming, county cricket in nearby Castle Park, a sailing club and a jazz club. I think I’ll be busy, in a more laid back, middle-aged sort of way. Plus Wivenhoe is Constable country. I don’t think I’m going to take up landscape painting, but think of all those wonderful wildlife photographic opportunities.

That purveyor of objectivity and truth, um, the urban dictionary, rather helpfully adds:

“[Wivenhoe ] Small town in North East Essex. The town is home to an abnormally high percentage of musicians, artists, actors, and assorted TV and media people. The University of Essex at the top of the town is famous as a Communist stronghold in the 1960′s – the town also was home to The Angry Brigade at that time.

The Wivenhoe Folk Club is recognised as one of the best in the country, and regularly attracts big name acts. Other Essex villages consider Wivenhoe to be full of drunks, layabouts, hippies, arty-farty types, Pot-Heads, gays, and prozac-dependants. Small wonder then, that it was recently rated as the second most popular place to live in the whole of the UK.”

Blimey.

We’ve bought an old Victorian cottage with views out across the North Essex estuary. We’re keeping our properties down here in South London, still doing the landlord and tenant nonsense. Needs must. Plus you never know when you might miss the mean streets of Sunny Stockwell and long for a return.

Or maybe not.

As for m’blog? Well, it never really was about South London per se – more about my life in South London. The Wivenhoe lifestyle will undoubtedly present many new opportunities, and I’ll probably end up blogging all about these.

The countdown to the North Essex coastal adventure started in earnest some eighteen months ago when the plan was first hatched. We’re now approaching the Sunny Stockwell end game, with all the final arrangements being put in place.

Many, many thanks to everyone who has helped to make our London life so special. The memories will remain (um, online…) as we reach out to create new ones.

London loves, the misery of a speeding heart.

Time for the Great Escape.

This is turning out to be a major corporate cock up for Fusion down in SE24. It’s a repeat of that familiar theme of “chlorine issues.” I make this the fifth occasion this summer that Fusion has proved to be [steady] unfit for purpose.

The awarding of the twenty-five year lease to pimp out the pool on behalf of @lambeth_council appeared to have safety checks built in. It was crucial that a reliable ‘preferred partner’ was selected to take on the huge social responsibility of managing the stewardship of a much loved community facility within South London.

Those meet ‘n greet the bidders sessions back at the Town Hall during February 2003 contained many false promises made by Fusion. The corporate leisure company took on the lido lease with a commitment to maintain the unique ambience and atmosphere established during the Paddy and Casey @BrockwellLido Golden Years.

The stuffy corporate image has slowly, slowly become all pervasive around the poolside. It manifests itself with the removal of the street art put in place by Paddy and Casey, the appearance of corporate branding, and yes, the physical divide between lido lovers and lido café restaurant diners – a wooden fence has actually appeared of late, keeping the riff raff of swimmers away from the café restaurant.

This is the least of the worries within our lido community – we now just want a bloody pool that is open each morning for our daily swim.

Let us not forget that Casey also pitched in with his proposal to run the lido some seven years ago. Another figure worth remembering is that the lido didn’t suffer a single “chlorine issue” in that run of twelve glorious @BrockwellLido Golden Days.

In a year when shutting swimming pools has been something of a recurring theme around these parts, the five closures (and counting) this summer @BrockwellLido have to be viewed in perspective.

It is the inconvenience that hits you the hardest – dragging your backside to Brockwell Park early morning, only to find that Fusion has messed up once again only spoils the routine and rhythm of your day.

Bloody Brixton Rec it is then…

Refunds have been promised by Fusion for the five days that have been missed so far this summer. I’m still waiting to see any return in my bank account.

And so if it’s not the “chlorine issues” that gets you @BrockwellLido then it’s possibly the break-ins (two so far this summer.)

Failing that then it’s the complete incompetence of Fusion as a corporate company to understand exactly what is required to manage a local facility that quite simply *is* the South London summer for folk around here.

The pool remians closed. The receptionist is telling users that “we are hopeful of being open sometime tomorrow [Wednesday.]”

Very, very poor, Fusion.

Meanwhile, the lido website seems to be explaining the whole situation in terms of a “technical problem,” rather than the police incident that closed the pool on Monday morning:

“A technical problem in the small hours of Monday morning has been cited the cause for closure. We have our pool engineers on site from Tuesday morning at 7am and we will do everything possible to ensure that the pool is back in operation.”

Which is all very strange, seeing as though the place was cordoned off by coppers on Monday morning. The reality is a combination of a break-in and the return on the ongoing chlroine situation. Both incidents are only related in terms of a corporate cock up from Fusion.

*Monday 28th, 19:00 update*

The pool has remained closed all day. The police completed their investigations, but sadly the lido was unable to re-open once again because of a “chemical imbalance.”

*sigh*

If it’s not the chlorine that is closing Brockwell Lido then it is the local idiots who fail to understand the concept of community. It was heartbreaking to cycle to SE24 for the daily dip on Monday morning, only to find a police cordon and a closed lido.

It seems that a break-in took place during the early hours, clearing out the lido reception of cash from the night before. Any form of communication to customers from Fusion has sadly been lacking in recent weeks. It took a bizarre head nodding / shaking game with an off-message lifeguard, to try and work out why our lido was closed for the fourth time this month.

“Is this another chlorine bodge job?”

Head shake.

“Has someone broken in?”

Head nod.

“Has there been a poolside injury?”

Head shake.

“Was theft involved?”

Nod, nod, nod.

It’s not the first time that this has happened – the exact same situation took place only a fortnight ago following another Scorchio South London weekend of al fresco swimming. I hope that lessons were learnt first time round from Fusion, and the takings from the weekend weren’t left overnight on the premises.

The ease of access to the lido during the early hours appears to be down to no formal security in place regarding the car park games. With the Park Rangers closing the park at sunset, a word of mouth agreement is in place with @lambeth_council, allowing Fusion staff to lock the Dulwich Road gate after the gym closes at 10pm.

This only works well if the Fusion staff actually remember to lock the gates, come closing time for the lido gym.

Whoops.

Recent nights have seen a build up in the car park during the early hours, which High Court Judges would no doubt describe as a “rave.” Young folk gather around their cars, play loud music which omits a high frequency of beats per minute and… dance.

The rotters.

But this also leaves the lido highly exposed to abuse. The ornate metallic lido sign long since went missing from the front of the building. Last summer saw the closure of the lido when the early lifeguard opened up, only to find some fool had lobbed glass bottles over the lido wall.

Many lido lovers have been annoyed in recent weeks over the increase in security for pool users. Bag searches are in place, an activity that goes totally against the laid back ethos of lido life. It’s a shame the same level of security isn’t in place to keep away genuine trouble makers from the lido.

With the head nod / shake game over, I mounted the Moulton and pondered yet another morning of misery down at Brixton Rec. Back in SW9 and the morning swim lived up to the low expectations I had placed upon it.

Timing my birthday suit moment to coincide with the weekly swim from the lovely kids in one of the schools I work in didn’t help my cause. The appearance of the legendary Nostril Man – the swimmer who empties the contents of his nose after each length in the same style as a Premier League footballer – only added to my indoor indisposition.

It has got to the stage now where the policy of pimping out public pools to two private contractors is actually starting to pay off for me. With a Fusion lido membership and a GLL Swim London membership for Brixton, at least I’ve got all bases covered when it comes to finding somewhere to swim in Lambeth each morning.

Meanwhile, the lovely lido continues the slow decline of trust between users and management. It is testing the levels of human patience to conjure up any feelings of contempt associated with such an amazing community facility. Fusion’s poor corporate management of the project is sadly pushing many lido lovers to feel frustration towards the future of the facility.

Head down to the comments for the corporate response from Peter Kay, the Chief Executive of Fusion.

Original blog post…

You have to speak in *shhh* hushed tones whenever you talk about shut swimming pools around these parts. But yep – sad to say that @BrockwellLido was closed for the second consecutive morning early on Tuesday.

To not be able to offer swimming for the second consecutive morning during the height of the midsummer months is unfortunate; to repeat this act is not even careless – it’s a cock up of major proportions on behalf of Fusion.

The problem here is chlorine: too much chlorine. Fusion has been pumping the pool full of chemicals, to try and keep away the midges after the algae situation of last summer.

It’s a delicate balancing act – not enough chlorine and the algae ferments; too many chemicals and you run the risk of having to close the pool because swimmers’ skin starts to burn away.

Blimey.

And so having been told by Fusion management *not* to leave the chlorine pump on overnight, the last man standing lifeguard, um, left the chlorine pump on overnight on Monday.

Whoops.

The scenes at 7am outside Lake Brockwell were not pleasant. Swimmers are usually a serene bunch, happy to see in a midsummer morning with the tranquil activity of a dip in the great outdoors. Turn them away for the second morning running and the Speedo boys and girls tend to get a little agitated.

The lido community is more than the sum of a simple swim. We meet early morning to share friendships and conversation in what has to be the most delightful location in all of South London. It’s a way of life for the summer months, and one that doesn’t take too kindly to a corporate cock up one again from Fusion.

This is the third time this month that Fusion has forgotten how to run an outdoor pool. From memory, there wasn’t a single chlorine or algae related incident in the twelve years of the lido golden years under the fine management of Paddy and Casey.

Back in the day and the algae was attacked at source with the good old-fashioned method of a wetsuit, some breathing apparatus and a chisel. The result was the beautiful clear blue waters of Brockwell, something that has come to characterise all that is lovely about the lido.

It hasn’t helped that the Fusion site manager departed this summer, swiftly followed by the lido manager. A new team is in place, but with little knowledge in how to upkeep an outdoor pool.

And so for the second morning running, it was a return to my love / hate relationship with Brixton Rec. Sterile, suffocated, and yep, heavy on chlorine.

Yuk. No thanks.

A third morning of such inconvenience may not get the polite “pah” response from the lovely lido community of SE24.

Come on in – the water’s… um, cloudy.

Brockwell Lido has offered outdoor swimming to South Londoners for seventy three summers, although sadly not consecutive, with four years missed during the early 90′s as part of a Lambeth Council cost cutting exercise. I am proud to be entering my fifteenth season as a swimmer down in SE24, and one that for personal reasons, sadly may also be my last.

The 1937 Grade II listed pool provides locals with a 50 yard unheated (hurrah!) stretch in which to swim, as well as a state of the art modern gym, housed away in a refurbishment that was completed three summers ago.

The awarding of a twenty-five year lease from Lambeth Council to Fusion, has been the savior of Brockwell Lido. The gym makes money all year round, enabling al fresco swimmers to enjoy lido life for the six months of the year when South London hits a heat wave.

Ah, yes – about that current South London heatwave…

The Happiest Day of the Year in South London was the morning after the general election. If the election results weren’t enough to give you a kick up the backside, then the tepid twelve degrees temperature on the first morning of the pool being open made diving in a personal political act.

The anticipation of meeting up once again with the lovely lido community is the inspiration to drag your aching body down to Brockwell Park at 6:30 in the morning. It almost made the months of misery spent bemoaning Brixton Rec seem bearable.

As ever, you’ve done the hard part by being in the park. Once you are poolside, then you are going to swim. With a wetsuit hugging my toned torso (steady) what could go wrong?

A great leap of faith into the deep end, and I had forgotten how the Happiest Day of the Year also leads to your head exploding, should you make the silly mistake of forgetting your bright pink swimming cap.

Bugger.

Halfway down the first length and I panicked. The arms and legs were functioning, but the head had long since lost circulation. I started to see things on the other side of the pool that all rational thought tells you simply don’t exist.

That wasn’t *really* a naked female swimmer, was it?

I persevered, and after five minutes of a frantic freestyle motion, my conscious existence soon returned to my well being. I looked above as a flock of geese passed overhead, observing my every motion, and I then broke out into a great big underwater smile that will probably remain all the way until the season closer come October.

A return to the heated changing rooms was a welcome respite. The continual blasting out of Radio Twaddle on the internal sound system is something that I, and other early morning swimmers, could well do without.

But a minor gripe in what has signaled the start of six months of early morning swimming and grinning down at the lovely lido. By the time I had showered and put back in place my three layers of clothing, I was just about able to walk in a straight line once again.

These will gradually be shed, one by one, over the coming weeks, along with the wetsuit as I acclimatise back into the routine of daily lido life.

The lovely Lido Cafe was open for the Breakfast Club, and the public art project from local artists Gethin and Myles, was proudly on display in the basin of the pool for those brave enough to take a dip. Memories of lido life from local users have been lovingly painted around the perimeter of the pool, as a statement of some form of private underwater reading club.

Expect the pool temperature to rise to around twenty degrees come mid-June, peaking at a positively Mediterranean twenty-five degrees by July. Best keep the wetsuit ready from here onwards…

A lido swim doesn’t come cheap at £5.20 per adult. This is a figure calculated more in line with the traditional lido ethos of having a swim, and then arseing about poolside for the rest of the day. Season tickets at £150 represent far better value for money.

The lido community is set to truly take off this season, finally having a functioning lido cafe upon which events can be arranged. Brothers Daniel and Duncan not only provide poolside refreshments, but also high class cuisine and an entertainment schedule during the evenings.

So yeah, fifteen years of putting the lengths in at the lido, and fifteen summers ‘wasted’ by sitting around the poolside doing bugger all.

Golden Days I tell you, Golden Days.

Here are some photographs of some lovely locations within Lambeth (um, and Southwark…). I think I have neglected these over recent months.

I hope this blog can return to some sense of normality over the coming weeks.

The staging of the Art Deco Fair on Saturday signalled that the new lido season is almost upon us. There has been a slight delay in opening up the waters of Lake Brockwell this year, with the lure of a Bank Holiday Monday lido swim being put back until Friday.

“Technical difficulties” (waiting for a pool plant part to arrive from Germany) means that the Best Day of the Year in South London will have to wait until all that political posturing of May 6th is out of the way.

Purification in the waters of Lake Brockwell, the morning after the dirty deed has been done, seems like the perfect cure for the political hangover to me.

And so I walked through the creaking lido turnstiles on Saturday, settled up for a lido season ticket (£150 – £1.20 a swim every day through until October, and no increase on last year,) and then was welcomed back into the lido community with my happy, smiling summer friends all around.

Lido historian Peter Bradley was the first to greet me. We exchanged tales of the misery of our winter months, and the loathsome practise that is being pent up inside an indoor pool. Time to break free, time to embrace the tepid waters of Lake Brockwell.

The lovely Brockwell Lido Users Group had set up stall poolside. It is worth remembering that events such as the now annual Art Deco Fair wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for BLU and the campaign to breathe life back into the lido almost a decade ago.

Blimey – has it *really* been that long?

The Herne Hill Society were very friendly, even in the rare moment of mild frustration found within the most peaceful place in South London. An angry (ish) young blogger asked about the bodge job of the Herne Hill junction outside Brockwell Park. Almost an hour of debate followed, some appeasement and even a handshake at the end – lido life has that kind of calming effect on you. More on the Herne Hill conversation to come…

The pool itself was looking resplendent. Clear, blue water and a temperature of around 15 degrees to give you that perfect May 7th kick up the political backside. I have already rehearsed my choice of political phrase to unleash, as I dive in for the time and my head explodes with the harshness of the water. You need some kind of physical release, and my local politician of choice is lined up to receive the verbal assault.

The typography art installation by Gethin and Myles looks even more intriguing now that the water has entered the pool. The beautiful lettering, lovingly painted within the basin of the lido, is barely visible from above. Goggles on, heads down, and I think a few swimmers are in for a pleasant literary surprise, come that first chilly bathing on Friday morning.

The Fair itself wasn’t simply a commercial proposition. Other artistic installations were in place poolside. A plastic cup and a piece of string style communication system stretched across the width of the pool. Pick up a cup, and you were rewarded with some history of the lido’s past, with stories told from the many lido voices throughout the past seventy years.

A Mouse Trap style board game was also in place, which resulted in a figurine of a chap diving into the water. The lack of a German pump didn’t seem to bother the plastic fella.

A periscope was also by the side of the pool, replicating the view from the lido as seen from 20 meters above. It seemed perfect that the mirror focussed down on a bikini bra that was positioned in perfect range for closer inspection.

Daniel and Duncan at @TheLidoCafe had their busiest day of the year. The sun always seems to shine on Art Deco day, and I feel that the two brothers at Our Cafe by the Water are in for something of a very special summer.

So yep – almost, almost there. Fifteen years of lido life, and one final epic summer of arseing about by the pool to come for me. I’m going to make the most of it, come rain, shine or even *eek* work.

Golden days I tell you. Golden days.

Gethan and Miles, the creative pair who staged so successfully the wonderful Herne Hill Expo last autumn, are mounting another major project for the forthcoming summer season.

A call went out a couple of months ago for lido lovers to submit a few short sentences, recalling the imagery that water conjures up for them, and how early memories of water compare to the lido experience.

The prose is currently being transformed into a very public piece of art. Gethan and Miles are taking great care to inscribe the words in intricate detail all around the inner bowl of the lovely lido.

With the pool currently empty, it’s a race against time for the artists to prepare the project ahead of the taps being turned on for the traditional season opener of the Art Deco fair on the May Day Bank Holiday weekend.

I caught up with Gethan and Miles on a wind swept Good Friday. It was somewhat surreal to be walking within the lido pool, the scene of my summer swimming activity for the past fifteen seasons.

The feeling of tranquilly and calm within the space was evident, even for a rather miserable early Easter period. It is this very theme that the project aims to address, exploring the imagery, and making swimming something more than simply a physical feat.

This is another great example of how the lido has been opened up for community based activities, since Fusion took on the twenty-five year lease from @lambeth_council. The management of the lido is in the hands of people who truly understand the benefits that the pool can deliver, and the respect that the surrounds command.

May 3rd can’t come soon enough.

As mentioned in the @audioboo below, I do believe that I have finally found a solution to the lack of swimming pools soon to be open in Lambeth. With the Rotten Borough about to close all three pools, the answer to my daily swimming dilemma can be found over in the West End.

A friendly, clean, outdoor (gosh) pool? Blimey. Why then has it taken me the best part of fifteen years to finally take a plunge in to the brilliant Oasis outdoor pool on Endell Street?

A bit of business to attend in town, and so I thought I would put to use my GLL Swim London card. Clap’ham has been something of a challenge of late. I love the old pool to bits, but the daily routine of putting in the lengths in a sterile, soulless indoor pool, was becoming something of a routine.

Time for a new challenge, time to explore the GLL website, documenting exactly where my Swim London membership allows me access to. Brockwell Lido was well off the radar, whereas the lovely London Fields Lido was part of the package, if slightly off the radar when it comes to a midwinter cycle.

And then – aye, aye, what’s this? Oasis Pool, right in the heart of London’s glittering West End? Gosh. I’ll have a bit of that then.

I’ve no idea why it has taken fifteen years of London living for me to finally swim in the Oasis outdoor pool. I’ve known of its existence, yet somehow swam elsewhere. That’s what living close to a truly stunning Olympic size art deco lido does to a young man.

And so I rolled up to WC2, swiped my GLL card at reception, and was then led on a voyage of uncertainty and discovery, and one, which one-hour later, would leave me grinning for the rest of the afternoon.

There’s something rather special about swimming in any new pool. There’s the uncertainty of an unfamiliar changing room routine; the anticipation of a new pool in which test yourself, and the pleasure of meeting new, like-minded swimming freaks.

Add into the equation the Oasis effect of a 29 degrees outdoor pool with steam rising as fast as the rain fell, and you can see why my mid-morning dip was genuinely one of the highlights of the festive season.

You feel special at Oasis, as soon as you have made the morally superior decision to swim outdoors. Straight out of the changing rooms and you are presented with a choice – a left turn for the identikit indoor pool, or eyes right for the outdoor walk into the uncertainty of the lido environment.

Which way d’ya reckon I walked?

Once water bound, I knew from previous experiences that I had to swim ASAP. The water was tepid, but the air outside wasn’t. The coldness hits you with each rotation of the neck to take on air. Best to keep on breathing, etc, but it made it bloody cold as I lifted my head out of the water after every four strokes.

The pool itself is clean, well-kept and fast flowing. I encountered little resistance as I put the lengths in. Instead of the Clap’ham jet stream that propels you away from the shallow end, the closest I came to being put off-stroke was the odd floating leaf.

I took pity on the poor lifeguard, sheltering from the sleet, yet still doing a fine job on duty. Lidos are wonderful, enchanting places during more pleasant climes; they can be pretty crappy places when you are reduced to taking cover in the slipstream of the rising steam.

Forty lengths later and I felt full of life. It wasn’t quite the epiphany of the Brockwell Icicle experience, but it was the change of routine that my Clap’ham days throughout the autumn months have been begging for.

I’ll probably be back very soon, either through enforcement as the Rotten Borough fails to implement any form of leisure policy, or simply through enjoyment and a love of outdoor swimming.