onionbagblog

Not content with making libellous allegations towards, um, me, that a “whites-only Olde English village is more up to your standards,” [sic] @LambethLabour’s latest complete tool, Councillor Ed Davie of Thornton ward, is now going about his business by trying to brush under the carpet some of the fallout from the continued unexplained suspension of Councillor Abrams of Vassall ward.

The chest beating @LambethLabour website “welcomed back” Councillor Abrams with a news story that sought to steal back the agenda from the botched email sting allegations made against @LambethLabour Leader @cllrstevereed..

No mention was made in the blog post of the charge made against Councillor Abrams that he leaked sensitive information to @SthLondonPress. That’s probably because he didn’t – the popular local figure managed to see straight through the email sting, and laughed it off as just another dirty tricks campaign from the right of the party.

But with the four month period of sitting on the @LambethLabour naughty step now complete, how to solve the problem of Readmitting Kingsley? It is a problem all of the making of the Nu Labour twonks within @LambethLabour, and no surprises that they have managed to botch up this political act up as well.

Many activists within the party were unhappy about the authoritarian wording of the original blog post. Calls were made for it to either reflect more accurately the exact details of the events leading up to the suspension, or if that proved to be too uncomfortable, then just delete the blog entry altogether.

An edit has now taken place, but not after much prolonged debate and further fallout behind the scenes. The new posting declares with no sense or irony, or even embarrassment that:

“Chair of the Labour group Ed Davie, secretary Jennifer Brathewaite and chief whip Jack Hopkins officially welcomed Councillor Abrams back to the group at a meeting on September 20 at the town hall.

Councillor Davie said: I am very happy to welcome Kingsley back to the group and we fully endorse London Region’s view that he should play a full and constructive part in the Labour group and council.”

Cripes, Comrade.

That’s some welcome back handshake – behind the scenes and many leading figures within the @LambethLabour group are being emailed by Councillor Davie, briefing against Councillor Abrams and trying to offer *ahem* a ‘different interpretation‘ of the events as understood by many activists locally within the party.

This really should be the end of the very messy little spot of local bother that @LambethLabour has forced upon itself. But the continued wriggling by the Nu Labour twonks in the party is making a conclusion difficult to reach.

It is a classic case of put up, or shut up – where is the actual evidence that Councillor Abrams leaked information to the South London Press? You need to look towards the allegation that @lambeth_council Leader Steve Reed ordered the hacking of Councillor Abrams’ email account, to understand properly the reasons as to why the suspension has never properly been explained to the electorate.

Seek and you will find…

Overlooking the slight kafuffle in the comments below regarding the “whites-only” [sic 'n *sigh* 'n complaint lodged to the Standards Committee] move to the ‘Hoe, but, yeah, the boxes are packed and all we need now is somewhere to park the removal van, come the grand day of the Great Escape.

Job’s a good ‘un – especially so if you are @lambeth_council (“we’re on your side…“) and can trouser almost £200 for allowing a resident to park a van directly outside the property in which they own.

Cripes.

Yep, I accept that we are moving out of what is a busy, built up urban environment, but blimey – just short of two hundred notes so that nice Mr Pickfords can pull up for a couple of hours one morning?

A look around the multi-layers of the @lambeth_council website, and I found that I needed to apply for the suspension of a parking bay. A visitor’s permit may be cheap at half the price at around a tenner a time, but the last thing I want on D-Day is for that nice Mr Pickfords to turn up and find that there is no space for him to park.

The deal then involves giving seven working days notice to the Parking department, a £60 admin charge (isn’t there always….) and £40 per parking bay suspension. Turns out we need three bays.

Like I said – job’s a good ‘un, but I still fail to see exactly how the Parking department at @lambeth_council is running at a loss in these days of austerity and cuts.

As for the return leg? A quick call to Colchester Borough Council (um, helloooo, btw…), and I gave an explanation of my where and how to park dilemma.

“I’m sorry?” came the reply from the wilds of deepest Essex. “You’re phoning to find out if you need permission to park a van outside a property that you own? Aww – no need for that, love.”

Park ‘n ride.

Park ‘n ride, all the way, baby.

Early Sunday morning and @BrockwellLido was bloody closed – again. After the run of five closures during the balmy days of June, I thought Fusion had finally understood how to manage an outdoor swimming pool.

Only yesterday and I was commenting to the lovely Lido Peter how the clear, blue waters of Lake Brockwell have returned, just in time for the season close at the end of September. Sunday morning however had the familiar “chemical imbalance” given as the reason for the lack of aquatic action.

Bugger.

To be fair to Fusion, all members have been offered a 10% discount on the joining fee for the 2011 season. Cynics might say that this serves only as an incentive to sign up yet again. What’s the point if you’re buggering off @BrockwellLido continues to suffer the same fate next summer?

Having dragged my backside down to Brockwell Park early on Sunday morning, the inconvenience for me was more of a personal and emotional disappointment.

The tally chart counting down my final days of outdoor swimming in SE24 is almost in single digits. A closed pool is about as welcome as a LambethLabour pledge of “free swimming for every resident” right now.

Ah yes – about that pre-election promise of “free swimming for every resident…”

In the absence of any @BrockwellLido action, I returned down Railton Road and found myself staring into the abyss of Brixton Rec.

Blimey.

The queue at reception finally cleared after five minutes – this was 9am on a Sunday morning, after all. Ahead of me to be served was a young mother with three small kids. She asked for an adult swimming ticket, and three passes for the free swimming for her children.

“Sorry,” said the GLL receptionist. “Free swimming is no longer available.” A price was quoted, which didn’t leave much change out of a £20 note. Not surprisingly the young mother had to explain to her three small kids that swimming wasn’t going to happen today.

I paid my £3.50, and then walked past the petition on the wall set up by the Brixton Rec Users Group. It calls for @LambethLabour to reconsider its decision to slash free swimming for under 16′s and over 60′s. The election pledge of “free swimming for every resident” has long since been sacrificed.

I’m told that just over 2,000 signatures have so far been collected by local leisure users – quite an achievement. One thousand more are still required for the Rec Users Group to force the next Full Council meeting to actually take the petition seriously and debate the matter.

That Lambeth Life Power to the People twaddle of a headline is looking more false as the @LambethLabour cuts start to kick in.

With the disappointment of Brockwell behind me, and now ready to experience the delights of Brixton Rec on a Sunday morning, I showered and slipped into the pool. Five minutes later and I was finished.

It was simply impossible to undertake any form of exercise in a public pool that is rammed bumper to bumper with swimmers early on a Sunday morning. That’s what happens when the “success story” of leisure in Lambeth leads to only one pool that is actually open in the entire borough.

I’ll be back at the waters of Lake Brockwell come Monday morning. If the “chemical imbalance” is still lingering, I’ll have to admit defeat and accept that the buggers have won.

“Free swimming for every resident?”

Only in the Rotten Borough…

Claims of yet more cheating by the Pakistani cricket team and then a visit by the Pope – just another normal twenty-four hours in my #hyperlocal patch of South London then.

The visit of Pope Benedict XVI to St Peter’s Residence along Meadow Road wasn’t meant to make the headlines. This was an afternoon tea event, tucked away in an otherwise anonymous corner of South London, and hidden away in the official State visit schedule ahead of the Hyde Park hoo ha later in the evening.

The playing down of Mr Pope in my #hyperlocal patch suggested something of a space filler. With a more high profile visit to Wimbledon earlier in the afternoon, and then the huge Hyde Park ticketed event in the evening, cynics (um, the good @SE11_lurker) was spot on in stating that we were hosting a time killing event.

It was almost as if the Vatican had pulled up Google maps, typed in SW19 and W1, and then pinned the Papal tail on my little #hyperlocal patch to pass the time. The location of St Peter’s, SW8 made perfect geographic sense, albeit with some ideological reservations.

Google maps may be great for physical geography, but not so cool on cultural exploration. A short walk down the Harleyford Road, and Mr Pope would have found himself at Vauxhall Cross, the self-centred Gaybourhood of South London.

Whoops.

I personally was rather passive in the whole Papal affair. I’m agnostic but active locally. To stay at home and hoover whilst one of the world’s most influential leaders was passing through my neighbourhood, would have been a waste of an afternoon.

I wandered down Trigon Road shortly before 5pm, quite unsure of what to expect. The road closure signs had been in place all week, but interest in Benny’s afternoon tea break seemed to be limited.

I passed young mother’s carrying shopping bags, kids playing on scooters and even an estate agent trying to temp some tenants into a shoehorn of a flat.

“What’s the neighbourhood like?”

“Oh, you know – apart from Papal visits, nothing special.”

It wasn’t until I reached the Meadow Road junction that I first saw the crowds. Nothing major, but then this was a hyped down #hyperlocal appearance. A rough head count suggested 1,000 max, with a lively crowd of twenty or so protestors, representing the Gaybourhood.

It is rather apt that this hush hush #hyperlocal visit should take place at St Peter’s. Little is known about the Nursing home locally. My only contact with St Peter’s is to pass it on the way to the cricket. The good Sisters within aren’t exactly resting on Test match days, trousering twenty notes a time in pimping out the Good Lord’s car park.

Cripes.

I took up a place in the throng of the two deep crowd, directly opposite the gates to St Peter’s. This was clearly an entry point that I wouldn’t pass the test for. The #hyperlocal online and blogging community was out in force.It seems that I wasn’t alone in putting that Saturday afternoon hoovering on hold.

A sudden rush, and the police convoy speeded past, followed by some very un-Pope-mobile style transport. It was as though Mr Pope was being transported around South London in the back of a rather large hire car.

And that, I thought, was probably that. A quick scroll through my twitter feed, and the good @kennington reported that Kate Hoey was within the sacred walls, being received by the Pope. Keeping in line with the song, the response from Mr Pope of course had to be:

“Who the f***ing hell is Kate Hoey…”

It must have been a laugh-along-a-minute during the short meeting. We were led to believe that Benny was giving a sidesplitting speech to the Sisters all about… death. It’s the way he tells ‘em.

I did consider buggering off back to base and resuming my own private worship of housework. But I stuck it out, and was rewarded with what was a truly unique, magical and simply jaw dropping moment, right on my #hyperlocal doorstep.

A robed up dude emerged from the gates at St Peter’s to deliver a cheeky thumbs up to the crowd. I passed this off as perhaps a sign of the party atmosphere within. Perhaps the water had been turned to wine, and wall-to-wall vomiting had broken out.

But nope – Mr Thumbs Aloft was indicating that one of the most powerful and influential men in the world wanted to have a walkabout, right on my bloody doorstep.

Blimey.

The crowd went crazy, both God Fearers and the guys ‘n girls from the Gaybourhood alike. I was sitting on the fence, quite literally, and simply wanted to take it all in.

Even for an agnostic, it was simply magical. There was a huge surge of emotion in witnessing the power of an old man to inspire my local community. As far as schedule time killers go, this had to be the most remarkable way of filling in a spare half hour in the South London afternoon.

I tried to make sense of this short burst of spirituality, but where to look? Mr Pope’s shoes caught my eye. I may not believe in his right wing nonsense of a message, but he is certainly a snappy dresser.

Sticking with the shoe theme, and it seemed that an Iraqi style shoe throwing protest was about to break out. A singular shoe dropped right in front of me. Turns out it belonged to a poor kid who was simply caught up in all the excitement and emotion.

This is about as rock ‘n roll as my little #hyperlocal patch of South London gets. The appearance of an iconic figure in the late evening SW8 sunshine was inspiring, if not in a religious capacity, then certainly spiritualy.

I have seen the light, I have seen Mr Pope, and yes – I have seen a community celebrating a unique event. The Gaybourhood guys ‘n girls rightly had their grievances, but I simply couldn’t ignore the power that this man has. What a waste for it be channelled into the nonsense of organised religion.

So yeah – for one afternoon only, my #hyperlocal patch of South London became the centre of the universe. I may not believe in creationism, but I am now a confirmed supporter of community cohesion.

Amen to that.

I’m starting to sound like Margaret Thatcher after being turfed out of No. 10, but yep – we’re leaving the place we have called home for the past fifteen years, probably for the final time.

I arrived in Brixton back in the summer of 1995, full of hope, high on optimism and with a huge appetite for ambition. None of these have been played out to their full potential, but I feel that I am leaving London as an all round better person.

I’ve been enlightened, enriched and inspired by London. But it comes at a high price, both financially and physically. London demands everything of you. There’s no hiding away if you want to experience the benefits that this city has to offer – you’re either in or you’re out.

I want out.

After fifteen years of running around town, it’s time to come up for some air. We both need a break, and one that allows us to put our feet up, laze around in the garden with a bottle of bolly and just generally live a slower pace of life.

Plus if truth be told, the tipping point came last summer when South London Yoof decided to camp out on my newly varnished front garden fence. It wasn’t particularly anti-social behaviour, but then neither was my response of blasting out some Billy Bragg from my front bedroom to shift South London Yoof along.

I just want a bit of peace, space and respect, bruv. I can’t find that in Sunny Stockwell any more. I live in fear of becoming what I despise – a right wing bigot, albeit with some sense of justification, given the actions of those around me in my current surroundings.

We have lived in the city for fifteen years because we wanted to. We wanted the convenience of being close to the cultural capital of the world; we wanted the opportunities that living in such a densely populated environment presented, and most of all, we wanted to be part of something that was much greater than we as individuals could ever be. London allowed us to live this lifestyle.

But that period in our lives is now in the past. We’re both ready for the next phase, searching for more solitude and a less frantic lifestyle – and yeah, one which probably involves keeping a well stocked wine cellar and not feeling guilty about procrastinating and enjoying life for itself, rather than with a specific reason to achieve or obtain career fulfillment.

I’m failing to find the love that I once had for this great city. Weekends of hunting down specific events or meetings are long gone. The enthusiasm for anything outside of my micro #hyperlocal patch of South London is non-existent. I’m even struggling to see anything of interest for me around here locally. A man who is bored of London is bored of life. I need to therefore try and find a new life out in the wilds.

I’m giving up pretty much everything that has been my social existence for a third of my life: the korfball club, watching cricket, the cycling community at Herne Hill and of course the lovely lido (although if truth be told, it’s not been a great season down in SE24.)

I feel that I’ve run my course with each activity. With no physical or geographical work restrictions keeping me in place, it’s time to move on. I am a nomad of technology: have broadband (just) will travel.

And so where to next? Well, we’re going back to the future to find a familiar lifestyle of old. Almost twenty years ago to the day, @AnnaJCowen and I first met as undergraduates at the University of Essex in Colchester. We’re now heading back to North Essex / Suffolk border, just up the road from the campus to the quayside town of Wivenhoe.

When we lived in North Essex, we couldn’t wait to leave for London. Weekends were spent going back and forth to Liverpool Street. It now seems that we have come full circle, and we can’t get wait to get back to the Wivenhoe rural way of life.

The city has served me well, but I can no longer keep up. I need an environment that hopefully will begin a new period of discovery. Yep – I’m becoming a hippy.

There’s a cycling club, estuary swimming, county cricket in nearby Castle Park, a sailing club and a jazz club. I think I’ll be busy, in a more laid back, middle-aged sort of way. Plus Wivenhoe is Constable country. I don’t think I’m going to take up landscape painting, but think of all those wonderful wildlife photographic opportunities.

That purveyor of objectivity and truth, um, the urban dictionary, rather helpfully adds:

“[Wivenhoe ] Small town in North East Essex. The town is home to an abnormally high percentage of musicians, artists, actors, and assorted TV and media people. The University of Essex at the top of the town is famous as a Communist stronghold in the 1960′s – the town also was home to The Angry Brigade at that time.

The Wivenhoe Folk Club is recognised as one of the best in the country, and regularly attracts big name acts. Other Essex villages consider Wivenhoe to be full of drunks, layabouts, hippies, arty-farty types, Pot-Heads, gays, and prozac-dependants. Small wonder then, that it was recently rated as the second most popular place to live in the whole of the UK.”

Blimey.

We’ve bought an old Victorian cottage with views out across the North Essex estuary. We’re keeping our properties down here in South London, still doing the landlord and tenant nonsense. Needs must. Plus you never know when you might miss the mean streets of Sunny Stockwell and long for a return.

Or maybe not.

As for m’blog? Well, it never really was about South London per se – more about my life in South London. The Wivenhoe lifestyle will undoubtedly present many new opportunities, and I’ll probably end up blogging all about these.

The countdown to the North Essex coastal adventure started in earnest some eighteen months ago when the plan was first hatched. We’re now approaching the Sunny Stockwell end game, with all the final arrangements being put in place.

Many, many thanks to everyone who has helped to make our London life so special. The memories will remain (um, online…) as we reach out to create new ones.

London loves, the misery of a speeding heart.

Time for the Great Escape.

This is all rather encouraging news – Labour Independent Labour Councillor Abrams of Vassall ward is set to rejoin @LambethLabour, having served out his four month suspension on the Lambeth naughty step.

You may remember how the highly popular local figure was the victim of a botched email sting by a high-ranking officer within the local party. Having failed to take the bait, Councillor Abrams was given a four-month suspension from @LambethLabour.

No evidence has yet to surface to justify this suspension. The only act that the Vassall representative appears to be guilty is to forward the sting email to Kate Hoey, the MP for Vauxhall.

This information is out in the public domain after a high ranking @LambethLabour party member ordered an apolitical council employee to hack into Councillor Abrams’ email account, to try and see if the sting had succeeded.

But now it would seem that with the four-month suspension for a non-existent offence having been served, Councillor Abrams has decided to take on the right wing @LambethLabour administration from within.

Councillor Abrams is a Labour man through and through. His speech at the most recent Full Council meeting could have been used as an opportunity to shame the Nu Labour sheep who followed the orders from above to boot him out.

Instead he launched a savage attack on @LambethLibDems, and in particular, his fellow Vassall ward representative, Councillor Bradley.

There is quite simply nowhere else for Councillor Abrams to align himself, other than the Labour party. He believes in fighting the ConDem cuts, rather than rolling out public sector redundancies, as proposed by the Nu Labour twonks within his local party.

Councillor Abrams is pledging to campaign for all housing maintenance in the borough to be brought back in house. With the collapse of Connaught leaving Lambeth Living looking even sillier, Councillor Abrams has been telling his ward constituents that further privatisation is not the answer to Lambeth’s shameful public housing state of affairs.

As for the ConDem and @LambethLabour savage cuts, Councillor Abrams has stated:

“Lambeth Council is set to make £85m cuts over the next four years. Free swimming has already gone. Nearly 700 jobs will be lost in Lambeth. I am working with the local unions, churches and community groups to protect front line services in Lambeth.”

Other areas that Councillor Abrams is keen to take on as the conscience of @LambethLabour include the re-opening of Brixton Road Youth Club (closed since the summer) and fighting the council selling off of the Calais Gate Estate.

Now is the perfect time for Councillor Abrams to take on the right wing of his party from within. He is not alone amongst @LambethLabour councillors in feeling anger and betrayal in the manner that his own party (a LABOUR party!) has been proposing a right wing agenda of savage attacks on the public sector.

By speaking up from within the @LambethLabour benches, he is likely to make more friends than enemies as the fight for the true heart of @LambethLabour is now ripe for attack.

Monday night at Lambeth Town Hall and the @lambeth_council cabinet was in synch with the zeitgeist for once. Item 1 on the cabinet meeting agenda was:

Extension of various housing maintenance and service contracts.

That will mean *shhh* Connaught, then.

Cripes.

And so what was meant to be a debate about rubber-stamping which private company gets the cushy little number of managing the housing repairs for the (semi) privatised Lambeth Living ALMO, all of a sudden became a crisis of confidence meeting.

How many council officers does it take to change a Lambeth Living light bulb, etc? Certainly not anywhere near the 1,400 or so poor sods that have found themselves out of work after Connaught went into administration.

But for every job loss there remains a resident in Lambeth still waiting to have their light bulb changed – or window frame replaced; or rising damp sorted. The list of local repairs is endless, which makes you wonder how a private company with a nice little earner of a local authority contract can manage to cock it up on such a major scale.

The answer locally can probably be found by looking inwards towards Lambeth Living. The failed ALMO is a scapegoat for many – opposition politicians argue that the (semi) private company should be for the chop.

@LambethLabour attempts to hide the internal shame after setting up the ALMO in the first place. All the talk ahead of May 6th from @cllrstevereed was of “twelve months to shape up or ship out.” I think the good Councillor was talking in reference to Lambeth Living, and not his own political party.

What is known is that the order books for Connaught here in Lambeth weren’t exactly barren. Resident groups have been campaigning endlessly for essential repair work to be carried out. That call has now turned to become a quest to find a competent maintenance company.

The failure of Connaught as a business in Lambeth should ring alarm bells for @lambeth_council. Allowing Lambeth Living to be so lapse in judgement is a failure in duty. The administrators meanwhile are no doubt rubbing their eyes as they see how such a packed work schedule can lead to financial ruin.

It all leaves the Little People without window frames that need replacing, rising damp to be sorted and even light bulbs to be changed.

Last person to leave, the Rotten Borough, etc.

All of the above left rather a confusing picture around the cabinet table in Room 8 at Lambeth Town Hall on Monday evening. Item 1 was indeed apt timing – some may even call it a close escape, allowing Lambeth Living to look around for a Plan B before spunking away yet more of the housing budget on a failed business.

Overlooking the Connaught capers, Councillor Peck, the Cabinet Member for Housing, spoke of her

“dismay that Lambeth Living is not ready to meet the deadline for the housing maintenance contract. This is the fourth time that the deadline has been missed. I demand reassurance that Lambeth Living is geared up to award these contracts.”

As for the Connaught concern, Councillor Peck proposed the Plan B of allowing maintenance company Morrison to take over the contract “with immediate effect.”

Calls the cops, etc.

But there is something of a hierarchal food chain of blame being passed down here. We have the absurd situation of an un-accountable political party pushing through the ALMO on local residents. Keeping up the pimping out process, the ALMO then offloads maintenance to a private sector company to look after council stock.

When the free markets fails, as is always inevitably the case, the hierarchal food chain of blame comes back to bite the un-accountable political party firmly on the bum cheek.

Ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight, my good Councillor?

The crisis meeting then descended into farce. Representatives of Lambeth Living were called to question by cabinet. It was the equivalent of the Headmaster handing out the prefect badge to the golden boy, and then when the star pupil comes a cropper, the call comes to enter the Headmaster’s office for a stern talking to.

But wait! What’s this? The Lambeth Living representatives played a blinder, running rings around cabinet and skillfully passing the blame on once again. Having hoodwinked @lambeth_council that it is a fit and proper pubic service organisation, you can see how Lambeth Living is well skilled to shake off the “shape up or ship out” threat, if not so well skilled in actually managing public housing stock.

Ever keen to offer constructive judgement, @LambethLibDems‘ Councillor Giess offered a technical analysis to cabinet:

“A signing of the extension of the contract is in breach of the European Competition Law. I have a healthy scepticism that the new contracts will actually come into place on the new date.”

Speaking for the Lambeth Conservatives, Councillor Whelan (male variety) added:

“This is an extremely worrying report. I don’t envy the role of the cabinet officers.”

Which being in opposition, isn’t a worry for the good Councillor right now…

“I would like to offer my constructive help”

I bet…

“What checks have been made on Morrison to make sure that the new maintenance company is fit for purpose?”

It was actually a damn fine point, and one which you would hope that any fit for purpose local authority had also addressed.

Speaking for the Tenants Council, Ron Hollis stated:

“Each time the extension to this maintenance contract happens, it is the residents that have to pick up the cost. We are paying for the mistakes made by both Lambeth Council and Lambeth Living. We have zero confidence in both organisations in being able to introduce these new maintenance contracts.”

As for the cabinet discussion? Councillor McGlone ushered some reassuring words of how “Connaught is a complication,” but with Lambeth Living firmly part of the Nu Labour project in Lambeth, the interference of the free market in social provision is the accepted price that you have to pay.

And so it was left to the Lambeth Living representatives to walk away from cabinet, with no real case to answer for. Likewise cabinet itself somehow managed to portray the picture of innocence, yet still the dire state of public housing in Lambeth remains the same.

Someone has to be held to account for this situation. Cabinet and Lambeth Living have both found a convenient scapegoat in Connaught. Being crap is no excuse for failing to meet the conditions of your contract.

But the final word at cabinet was left to Lambeth Living:

“In hindsight we should have employed more specialists to help us understand the risks better, before we signed the Connaught contract.”

This is third sector twaddle for saying that consultants bagging £500 an hour are the solution.

You could almost see the light bulb thought bubble appear above the heads of cabinet as the words of reassurance were spoken.