Saturday

That was a day.

It started with S Ldn drizzle.

Oh dear.

I couldn’t be arsed to drag my wet arse all the way over to Brockwell for Park Run and a lovely lido dip. Let’s keep it local, Jase.

It was a Back to the Future trot around Clap’ham Common.

Back in the day – 2000-ish onwards – and this was the traditional start to the Transpontine weekend.

Clap’ham had lost the fight against gentrification almost two decades ago. The 2018 landscape is a little depressing.

Maybe it was the weather?

Each PLOD around the mean streets of SW4 ended with a splashing by a puddle.

Winter Wonderland on the Common looked a little bleak.

A quick turn around back in at the flat, and then out went the shout of:

“To The Oval!”

Hurrah.

Red Maz of Bal’ham and I were booked in on a Members’ tour of our summer playground.

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#3feathers innit 🏏🏆

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This is something that has been on our cricketing wish list for a few years. Finding the right moment has been tricky.

The summer season was ruled out. We are in full cricket mode. A tour of the ground would seem like an extra add on to an already busy Oval schedule.

The first day of December was ideal. The rainswept Oval outfield was about as far removed from the t20 BONKERS beer fest of a summer that we have to look forward to.

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#3feathers innit 🏏🏆

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The tour itself was splendid. We were in good company with our tour guide Bob.

We were asked if we needed a comfort break in the Pavilion before the tour got underway.

I made a joke about “doing a KP” and pissing on the Surrey wicket.

It didn’t go down very well.

A grand tour of the Pavilion followed. It seemed strange to be in the great building completely sober with the Christmas tree in the corner.

Family runs through this club; the Bedser twins, Stewart Snr and Jnr, and the Hollioake brothers.

Hearing stories of Ben always brings back memories that were far too short lived.

LOVE cricket, LOVE this club.

Entrance to the otherwise out of bounds Committee Room was decent; we were also given access to the press box and TV studio.

The highlight was walking up the famous steps and into the dressing room.

I told Red Maz of Bal’ham to turn around.

And there it was, Morne Morkel’s changing room seat.

The joke wasn’t lost on her.

It wasn’t the most pleasant smell for a Saturday morning. eau de Jock Strap was still lingering from the summer months.

A little Christmas shopping was completed in the club shop. Red Maz and I then walked over to the Tea House Theatre for bruncheon.

I’m not going to dwell upon the previous strip club use of the location; Vauxhall is a very different beast to what it was two decades ago.

I couldn’t resist the pretty cob.

Who could, ladeees?

Next up was the pR0n art gallery at Newport Street. This always brings a smile to the face.

The lovely front of desk staff made it quite clear to a visiting family about what was to come in the exhibition, so to speak.

Red Maz and I were a little surprised that the family continued and entered the exhibition space.

Saturday sniggering time over, I waved farewell to Red Maz and walked back via Dorset Road.

I kept on walking.

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Back at Dorset Road. Oh Lordy #SW8

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All the way back to Clap’ham.

It’s been some time since I last did the SW4 charity shop circuit. The prices were a little above my budget.

Clap’ham Party Town was starting to kick off.

It was still only 3pm.

I walked through the Clap’ham Nu Town bollocks, realising that this wasn’t for me.

I ended up back at Lidl in Sunny Stockwell.

That’s more like it.

A 9km walk in total.

Saturday evening was spent downloading and organising the summer schedule around the Surrey fixtures.

Plus paying little attention to Anna over FaceTime as she banged on about her bloody golf competition.

I’m planning a 5am start on Sunday for the boxing,

Bloody LOVE the boxing.

That was a day.

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