Crap Match Report

LV= County Championship Division Two, Colchester (close, day three), Essex 369 & 214-4: Westley 90 not out, Batty 2-75, Surrey 346: Burns 158; Panesar 4-112, Porter 4-96, Essex lead by 237 runs.

DSC00116

To Castle Park! …on Sunday afternoon for Day 3 of – oh, you get the idea.

And so another day, another session on the piss with the ‘rrey in Sunny Colch. You can take the boy out of The Oval, etc.

But wait! What’s this?

The 11am Lidl lager start time of the previous two days was put on hold. Cycling, swimming and bloody gardening got in the way of another tired and emotional morning, afternoon and evening session of play.

And so with the garden lawn freshly cut mid-afternoon to rival the Castle Park outfield – not the most challenging of gardening techniques – and I was all set for for a Super Sunday in Sunny Colch.

Essex were knocking it about on 130-3 in their second innings when I finally arrived.

I had some more silly stretches to carry our first before I could break into the booze bag. These rightly attracted some weird looks on Friday morning from other boundary boys and girls. Come Sunday afternoon and no one turned a blind eye.

And then it was time for #AnsariWatch.

Our hero was trying to spin it on a pitch that had seen more turns that an already beaten Labour party leadership candidate.

A draw still looks the most likely outcome – that’s the cricket, and not the Comrades.

With a brief photo walk around the ground complete, I decided to join the rest of the ‘rrey boys lazing away in the temporary stand that doubled up as a makeshift Surrey sun terrace.

bants. lols, etc.

A message filtered through from the kids playing cricket at the back of the sun terrace:

“We need another bowler. Jake is eating all of the Cheesy Wotsits.”

Oh BOODY HELL Jake.

Tom Westley then took one for the team down below. The brass band in the Castle Park bandstand struck up the National Anthem. Westley didn’t stand for the ceremonial occasion.

Jade Dernbach was having slightly better luck with his bowling, taking the wicket of Dr Foster for 26.

The game was on a roll. The good old Essex girl sitting at the front of the sun terrace temporarily put down her knitting.

But come stumps and the match had fizzled out to knit one, pearl one once again.

Essex closed on 214-4.

Sadly work will kick in for me on day four. It means that having watched almost three days of Championship cricket, I will miss out on the climax of handshakes all round at 5pm and a drawn game.

C’mon the ‘rrey!

DSC00091

DSC00093

DSC00094

DSC00097

DSC00100

DSC00101

DSC00103

DSC00105

DSC00106

DSC00107

DSC00108

DSC00109

DSC00110

DSC00111

DSC00112

DSC00113

DSC00120

DSC00121

DSC00122

DSC00124

DSC00125

DSC00126

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *