Crap Match Report

LV= County Championship Division Two, Kia Oval (close, day two) Kent 336: Billings 99, Haggett 80, S Curran 5-101, T Curran 3-75 Surrey 144-1: Harinath 76 not out; Coles 1-52. Kent lead by 192 runs


To The Oval! …once again on Tuesday afternoon for the post-tea session of Surrey Vs Kent.

My Oval trips are becoming something of a theme for this week. They are set to continue all the way through until the t20 nonsense on Friday evening.


It wasn’t quite the t20 carnage out in the middle on yet another overcast Oval afternoon, but both sides were getting a shifty on in the game.

Weather forecasts prey heavy on the mind of a promotion chasing County cricket Captain

I left Sunny Stockwell with Kent searching the 300 figure. A quick cycle down South Lambeth Road, and the away team were on 314-8 when I took up my seat in the top tier of the Pavilion.

There’s no polite way of putting this but we need talk about #AnsariWatch first.

It’s awkward.

Our hero was looking a little green around the gills as he paced up and down in the field. Zafar Ansari wasn’t in the runs, but he certainly had the trots.


A freshly washed pair of cricket whites isn’t the best wardrobe addition for a young man trying to keep it all in.

A boundary drive from Matt Coles scattered the Oval pigeons. Ansari meanwhile was weighing up an altogether different type of scattering option.

Coles was trying to keep tail end of the Kent innings together. He was caught behind for 8 following some impressive bowling from young Sam Curran of the ‘rrey.

I say ‘young’ – a Crap Match Report really shouldn’t be riddled with all the cricketing cliches.

But at a tender 17 years of age, young Sam is… young.

He’s also playing like a seasoned pro at the start of this match, his debut in the County Championship.

The delayed finger of doom from Umpire Garratt meant that the wicket of Coles set young Curran up for a fifer on his first class debut.

It also meant that along with elder brother Tom, the Curran’s were collectively on seven wickets for the match.

The impressive fifer soon came as Calum Haggett was caught by Sangakkara for 80 off the bowling of Curran.

Tea was taken, but not before an Oval standing ovation for the young fella holding the cherry in hand [point of order: an Oval standing ovation on a Tuesday afternoon means a few hundred old fellas who find it an effort to take to two feet. But the feeling was there.]

With Ansari no doubt locked away somewhere in a very small Oval room, Arun Harinath and Rory Burns were sent out to bat for the ‘rrey.

This was t20 warm-up tie ahead of the Friday night slog fest. Eleven runs came off the first over; the 50 for Surrey followed off only the first five overs.

Work commitments sadly led to me heading back to Sunny Stockwell, just as the ‘rrey looked like doing some damage.

The wicket of Burns fell for 31, just as I was falling down the stairs in the Pavilion in a rush to see what all the noise was about.

Ouch. That hurt.

Watching cricket post-tea is the most civilised way of spectating the bat and ball game.

You can roll up knowing that it has been another day, another dollar just about earned, and then waste away the late afternoon at The Oval.

Here’s hoping that poor Ansari is able to clean up for the ‘rrey tomorrow afternoon.















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