Crap Match Report

Glamorgan 240 for 3 (20.0 overs), Surrey 215 all out (19.3 overs) – Glamorgan won by 25 runs


To The Oval! …on Friday evening for the first t20 folly of the new season.

The slog fest fun has started unfeasibly early in South London for 2015. Those balmy t20 days of hot tubs on the boundary rope remain a distant memory.

Did they really happen?

For Friday night I had to be content with a fleece and a hip flask. It cut quite a cool look amongst the 20-something t20 crowd.

It was a decent turn out at The Oval, despite what seemed like a low key marketing approach from the ‘rrey.

PEAK t20 leads to online ads being shoved down your throat all over the modern interweb. I was half expecting the mid-May fixture against the UNSEXY Glamorgan to lead to only a half full ground.


Never underestimate the potential for a piss up at The Oval on a Friday evening. If you are lucky than you may even see a half-decent game of cricket take place in the middle.

I was booze free.


It was a rare moment of Oval sobriety. Saturday morning commitments and a general ale apathy right now led me to watching a cricket match with a critical eye.

Come stumps and I even knew which team had won the game for once.

Clue: it wasn’t the ‘rrey…

Backtrack to 6:30pm and those bloody fireworks on the hallowed Oval boundary heralded that a four day County Championship match wasn’t about to get underway.

Instead we had Jacques Rudolph jogging out to the centre to open the batting for Glamorgan.

I can live with that as my Friday evening fun.

What I could do without however is the bloody trumpeter. Fair play fella for keeping up the racket all night, but I prefer the R ‘n’ B bollocks to be honest.

A magnificent early catch from Surrey captain Gareth Batty set the scene for the rest of the game. Surrey were no-balled and the catch of the century didn’t stand.

Wahab Riaz delivered his first ball at The Oval for Surrey, but the breakthrough didn’t come.

#AnsariWatch meanwhile was the usual bowling bore fest.

A short boundary out towards the Peter May led to the Glamorgan attack targeting this side of the ground with every delivery. Even the BONKERS sight of an octopus mascot couldn’t keep the away team from finding a succession of 4’s and 6’s.

240-3 seemed like a fantastic score for Glamorgan. It was the highest run chase that the ‘rrey would have to face up to in the history of the competition.

But was it par?

Steven Davies did his best to lose his wicket with a comedy drop of a catch, soon followed by an even funnier bodged run attempt at a run out by the away team.

Surrey progressed cautiously, but without the flair that was needed to reach such a high target.

The appearance of the beer snake in the OCS was a sign of where the attention had turned to with the Friday night booze crowd.

In the end Surrey just fell short.

#AnsariWatch did a decent job with a half century knock. But it was the bobbins bowling of the home team that let the ‘rrey down.

The t20 is going to drag this season for any team that can’t find some early momentum. BOOZE will be needed to help the game to flow.

Let’s start once again with a more appropriate alcohol approach away at the Essex slags on Saturday afternoon.








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