onionbagblog

And so the estuary spring is here, evenings are spent outside the Rose and Crown and whaddya know – some silly sod has tried to swim across the Colne – tired and emotional and in the early hours as well.

Oh Lordy.

Not wanting to come across (too much) as Disgusted of Wivenhoe but deary me:

“A drunken prank led to a late-night call-out for Clacton lifeboat when a man tried to swim from Rowhedge to Wivenhoe. Police called the RNLI after reports that a man was attempting to swim across the River Colne.”

Swimming out in the estuary is a move I’ve been pondering since the Great Escape back in October. Autumn fast became that wretched estuary winter; the pool and spa down at the lovely Bannatyne became the better option.

But yeah – I’m an outdoor swimming boy at heart. Fifteen glorious summers in Lake Brockwell back in South London, and I had high hopes for a season of al fresco swimming around these parts.

Probably not after a night on the pop though:

“A Thames Coastguard spokesman said: We received a request for assistance from Essex Police who reported that a 41-year-old male was in the water trying to swim from Rowhedge over to Wivenhoe. The man had been drinking, was caught by the tide and taken down river.

The RAF rescue helicopter from RAF Wattisham joined the search just after 2.15am. Police managed to get a lifebelt to the man and pull him out of the water. He was taken to hospital suffering from hypothermia.”

And so the Quay is off the radar as a possible entry point for my first dip. Nothing to do with the temptation of booze beforehand – just that I don’t want to look even more foolish, already being encased in a tight, black rubber suit as I wade into the water.

White House Beach is still looking like the best entry point. The advice I have had to date is that it takes two months for the water temperature to catch up with the air temperature.

Oh – and study those tidal charts.

Righto – who’s in? Meet ya at the Rose and Crown at chucking out time tonight. Last one to make the Rowhedge side, um, calls the lifeguard.

Oh Lordy.

•