onionbagblog

Come to the Saturday Stanfords auction at Severals they said; have a look at the bicycles – there’s some right bargains to be had. They weren’t wrong. But a Bicycling Boy About Town probably doesn’t need SIX bikes, does he?

Blimey

I think you know where we’re possibly heading with this one…

But first, a bit more about the ace Stanfords auction. Impressed with the detailed online catalogue (new boxed Girl and Ducks Fountain bronze effect garden water feature with LED light and pump anyone?) @AnnaJCowen and I thought it worth the early morning bike ride from Wivenhoe up towards Highwoods to see how a local auction house actually operates.

On offer is essentially a courtyard full of junk. Don’t expect the Sotheby’s fine art experience at a Saturday morning down at Severals. Do expect however some absolute bargain buys, and a bidding process that is most definitely blink ‘n you’ll miss it.

With the formalities of the auction getting underway at 9:45, the first half hour is spent wandering around the courtyard and eyeing up the lots. I wasn’t sure if a pile of bricks was art or arse – or even if the lot that was legitimately up for auction.

Some game old birds were pulling the punters in at the back of the barn shed. Nothing too seedy for a Saturday morning, simply the poultry auction in action with ducks, hens and um, dead rabbits being bid upon.

It was all rather ooh, and ahh and isn’t she sweet? Can we take a pair home please for £20, and then realise that even our rural Wivenhoe garden ‘aint that great for a couple of cocks to strut around before ending up in the pot?

Back to the bikes then…

This was where the real action was taking place. Mr Auctioneer was calling the shots quicker than the time it takes for me to saddle up and roll out down towards the Trail. The average selling time was less than sixty seconds – wham, bam, thank you mam. Look ma – no hands!

A gorgeous Raleigh road bike topped the bidding at £95. Most children’s bikes went for £1 a pair. Catching my eye was a rather delightful period piece Moulton Mini. It was the perfect companion piece to my current ownership of, um, a delightful period piece Moulton Mini, minus the fixed wheel snob status.

@AnnaJCowen wasn’t keen:

“You’ve yet to get the Little Red Wivenhoe Devil out from the shed, so why the chuffers do you need yet another Moulton?”

A good question, and one well put. You watch the girl start to lose interest in me when I take up stamp collecting instead.

I hovered around the Moulton marvel, and soon Mr Auctioneer was rolling off random figures as the bidding started. A cheeky bid of £25 was going to be my tops. I held off for the first thirty seconds, anticipating a grand climax thirty seconds later and a smug smile.

And relax.

No joy – the Moulton went for £35 – a bargain price for sure, but one that is increasingly difficult to justify when you already have a shed load (literally) of the lovely 60′s bikes back at base.

We stayed around Standfords for a little longer, and had some great conversations with likewise local bicycle freaks. There appears to be quite a small community of vintage bike nuts around North Essex, and one that I really need to explore ahead of a possible estuary visit later this year by the good @thebikeshow.

But there wasn’t to be a happy ending with six Moultons ending up back in the garden shed. The pile of bricks reached their asking price and the two prize cocks (steady) were lapped up by a local buxom farmer’s wife type.

And so that was our Stanfords Saturday morning auction experience. Not much bidding action, but ample amusement all the same. We never did find out what the Girl and Ducks Fountain bronze effect garden water feature with LED light and pump finally went for.

Bonkers, I tell you. Bonkers.