Causality and Council Crap

Another day, another @LambethLabour leisure pledge as polling time approaches. If it’s Tuesday, then it must be time to roll out the unworkable vote winner of:

“Free swimming for everyone.”

But yep – that’s exactly what @cllrstevereed has done in the latest rally call to keep the Red Flag (oh, stop it!) flying from the roof of Lambeth Town Hall:

“Our manifesto is full of positive ideas and commitments you can hold us to …a major expansion of sport and leisure facilities with four new pools and free swimming for everyone.”

I’m going to treat the four new pools pledge with the folly that such a false promise deserves. First of all, are we talking about “four new pools” per se, as the exact linguistic interpretation suggests?

Or are we talking about re-opening Streatham and Clap’ham – two pools that have been closed under the @LambethLabour watch – and then opening two further more pools?

Overlooking the blind faith in two new pools being built in West Norwood and Waterloo by the time local politicians start to get friendly with the Little People once again in four years time, then surly this leaves us with NO new pools being opened, but simply the closed two pools coming back into public use.

Moving on…

@AnnaJCowen will be rather pleased once polling day is over. It will mean that the letter from @janeinlondon / East Hampshire, that makes the exact same word for word pledge of “free swimming for everyone,” can be removed from its current place of beside the front door.

We’ve been eagerly awaiting the Oval #labourdoorstep team since the misleading letter was first posted. I want @janeinlondon / East Hampshire to look me in the eye (oooh…) and confirm that if I vote for her on May 6th (Oval, not East Hampshire,) then I will get free swimming at Brixton Rec come Friday morning. This is the implication of the twaddle that has been landing through the letterboxes in Lambeth.

I’ve already made enquiries with the very decent folk at Greenwich Leisure Limited about the management of “free swimming for everyone,” and the effect that it will have on the pimped out John Lewis style provider.

Know nothing about it, mate,” has been the answer coming out of my man from GLL.

Ah, but would your current contract with @lambeth_council be able to support the pledge to provide free swimming for everyone,” I asked?

Um, Probably not. Money aside, there’s not exactly a lot of pools open in Lambeth right now,” continued the very nice man from GLL.

And so it’s a chicken and egg / free swimming and four new pools scenario in the Rotten Borough. Which came first? Free swimming or the four new pools?

Or perhaps *shhh* neither?


That would just be *too* politically clever from our friends @LambethLabour.

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