Crap Match Report – LIVE!

Surrey Vs Worcestershire, Day 4, match drawn.

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Wondering who would want to purchse a whiskey from the trolley on the 11:54 train to East Croydon. Actually…

Timed Whitgift arrival just in time to see the fall of another @surreycricket wicket. 173-4. Interesting / boozey afternoon ahead. Chin chin

Luncheo at the Whitgift. @surreycricket have lead of 209. Enough to tempt Worcs for the slog and win? Off to invade the Whitgift wicket.

It occurs to me that I have brought my goggles to the cricket. No idea why. Then again, no idea why I bother to bring them to Brixton Rec.

I am starstruck. Mark Ramprakash is sitting behind me. Blimey. Might try some backwards footsy.

This is sweet. Mr Ramps has just given some batting advice to some Surrey old boys having a knock around the outfield. Great cricket pro.

Afternoon session of play underway at the Whitgift. 183-6 @surreycricket. Dig deep until tea, shake hands at 5.

Cracked open the first can of the Tennent Pilsner from the Thresher fire sale. At 10p a can, can’t really complain. More like washing liquid

200 up for @surreycricket. Bloke behind me (not Mr Ramps) rather enjoying rubbing sun cream into his nipples. Not sure where to look.

Disco nap at the Whitgift sun. Not so for @surreycricket. Making a go of match on 237-7. C’mon the ‘rrey!

Cripes. And there’s the @sureycricket declaration. 268 to win for Worcs. Back to one day game now. Legendary Surrey oik Lobby now behind me.

Gunter Nel launches an ambitious appeal with first delivery. Lasts all of 30 seconds.

Now then. Second ball from Gunter and he gets his man. Mr Lobby getting over excitable behind me. Rightly so. 0-1 Worcs.

Hearing whispers that Brian Lara is still in town, staying at the Dorchester apparently. @surreycricket signing story gone strangely quiet.

Had my doubts about Whitgift being in April. Misguided. Glorious Croydon sun, day 4 and game still on. Wicket cutting up, spin to win. 13-1.

Optimistic shouts of all over by tea. 13-2 Worcs. Blimey.

Starting to appreciate why Tennant’s Pilsner was priced at 10p per can. 28-2 Worcs. @surreycricket slips buzzing. Bit like me.

Surrey old boy Member next to me has sun cream in his ear. I’m reminded of There’s Something About Mary.

Bare chests, booze and Mr Ramps on the boundary. Blimey. Well worth the trip Croydon. Scoreboard malfunction at Whitgift, but I make it 48-2

Tea at the Whitgift. Which of course means more booze. 59-2 Worcs. Draw (and hangover) looks most likely.

Cripes. The portakabin toilets at the Whitgift are heated. Half expecting some old boy to wipe my backside. Game dead and buried. I think…

Ooh. Ooh. Wicket, wicket. 67-3 Worcs. Even with 41 overs remaining in the day, I reckon it is too late for @surreycricket.

Manic search for lost @surreycricket ball in the hedge at Whitgift continues. Old ball spinning, players want it back. Reinforcements sent.

Ah, having said that, wicket! 109-5. 28 overs remaining. Live the dream.

Blimey. Old spinning ball has been found by some kid in Whitgift hedge. Spin it to win it, @surreycricket.

Final hour of play, miniumum of 16 overs remaining. Five wickets needed by @surreycricket. “C’mon the Mr Hypen” is the war cry from Lobby.

@surreycricket over rate stepped up. Win now realistic.

Stil an abundance of bare chested males at the Whitgift. @surreycricket win slipping.

@surreycricket still appealing for everything at the Whitgift. And why not? Half expecting Mr Ramps to have a bowl.

Blimey. Went for a wee and missed a wicket. #lifelessons

Ten minutes, two wickets, um, two pints @surreycricket FTW, eh @cabbiescapital?

Entire @surreycricket balcony out for final over. Two wickets needed.

Whaddya know. Match drawn. Most entertaining, @surreycricket.

Mr Ramps signing autographs until the end. Top fella.

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

Surrey Vs Worcestershire

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