Crap Match Report

Close of play, day one: Surrey 334-4 (Surrey 3pts, Glamorgan 1pt)

Taking a final drag on the fag end of the summer. At The Oval for the morning session between Surrey & Glamorgan. Hard work for ‘rrey, 40-2 #

Bloke sitting in front of me is wearing a wig. Not any old wig. It’s a wig with a pony tail. Why? 47-2 the ‘rrey. Rebuilding of innings #

Been reminded that last time I was at The Oval, I stood on a chair in the Long Room and pointed at portrait of Member wearing wig. No memory #

50 up for the ‘rrey. Been hard slog. Cosgrove and his generous waistline already has foot back in the pavilion for luncheon. Wigs are weird #

Blimey. The ‘rrey 3 down now with Walters trapped plumb. Surrey head bar man once again watching cricket, rather than pouring pints. 55-3 #

Members’ AGM should be lively this winter. We were promised season of change, not stagnation. Surrey are the Leeds Utd of county cricket #

Remember that strip of grass in South London where the #ashes were won? A pair of pigeons are currently humping on it. 65-3 the ‘rrey #

Surrey happy to hang on until luncheon. 72-3, not the best of mornings. Chap nearby has most amazing ears. You could hang washing on them #

Ah, lovely boyo Robert Croft comes into the attack for Glamorgan. Always a joy to watch #

Listen!

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