Crap Match Report

Yep, it's a knob

Close of play, day two: Leicestershire 593-5 dec (Surrey 1pt, Leics 4pts)

Off to The Oval. Any takers? #

Surrey struggling, with Leic on 409-5. First pint of the day for me. Not such a struggle #

Weather holding at The Oval, bladder not. 422-5 Leic #

No sign of a declaration yet for Leic. Mr Ramps cutting a sorry figure out by the boundary #

Mr Ramps is now practising his golf swing out at deep cover. Sums up the excitement for Surrey. 449-5 Leic #

Slow afternoon at The Oval. Golf swings have been replaced by yoga exercises out on boundary. Can’t see Sir Geoffrey doing it back in day #

Dutoit taken one for the team, down below. Curiously umpire wants a piece of the action, offering a hands on approach down below. 463-5 #


500 up for Leic. No sign of any enthusiasm in the Surrey field. Somehow managed to lose @cabbiescapital. How did that happen? Empty here #

Sun’s out at The Oval. Leic players aren’t. 554-5 #

200 up for Taylor. Wonderful innings. 594-5. Now then, about that declaration… #

Surrey have just declared Leicestershire. Seriouly. Got bored and buggered off. 593-5. Rain seems to have passed us by. Sunny South London #

Umpires are back out after tea at The Oval. Pocket snooker seems to be sport of choice #

Bugger we’re off for rain at The Oval. Good call, @cabbiescapital. Surrey just not up for it today #

Test match wicket at The Oval more concern to ground staff than current wicket. Sums up all that us wrong with club right now #

The Test match hessian rug, when rolled up, looks rather like a very big knob #

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