Crap Match Report

Balls

Middlesex 162-3 beat Surrey 160-5 by seven wickets.

In the ground at The Oval. Glorious, glorious cricket weather. With water, not booze. Don’t trust myself in the sun #

Middle sex sex sex Panthers (yuk) strolling out looking pretty in pink. Surrey won the toss and are rightfully batting #

Cracking start from the ‘rrey, 44 without loss. TV match, so T20 trophy is at The Oval. Why? #

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Sitting top tier at The Oval, looks like huge fire around Battersea. Any info? #

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Lady in front of me at The Oval has brought her knitting along. It’s not exactly T20, but it is rather quaint #

Words cannot describe how annoying the Mexican wave is at the cricket. Certainly not in 140 characters #

Big screen posing Q: which girl band performed at 1st T20 final? Girls Aloud or Atomic Kitten? Confusing me with someone who gives a **** #

Gypo sitting in front of me just ruffled his hair. This resulted in a shower of dandruff landing on the bare flesh of my shins #

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